Somewhere around 5 years ago, I realized the nagging thought in my head about WHEN I was going to give God some space in my life, was not just going to go away. I had made a number of deals with Him about this timing but I always backed out.

A year later, I knew I knew where the time ultimately had to come from. I knew what I HAD to do. I was going to have to get rid of something I really loved, something that was all mine and all me. I WOULD have time for God if I sold my business.

My husband had been talking about the desire of a 3rd child. I had resisted since I knew it would mean I would have to stop working. My hours often went well past regular babysitting hours and my husband had begun traveling with his new job. This decision really weighed on me and I resented being the one who would be inconvenienced. PREGNANCY! I don't like it! Anyway, I worried; who would I BE if I didn't go to work?

I prayed to God to help me know what to do. Did He REALLY want me to DO this? Lose myself? Give up the plans and career goals I had set for myself? It didn't make any sense to me. I hadn't been doing anything BAD. Maybe I had just been imagining all of this, or maybe this was just a cop-out of the life I had with all of its scheduling problems. Maybe it was the lump in my throat as I dropped my children off to someone else for their care.

Many are the plans in the mind of a woman but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established.

Well God, I said, I suppose I'll know your answer IF I conceive. And so shortly after that occurred, one of my employees told me she was looking for a new challenge in her life and was considering starting a similar business of her own. Up until then she had always been so complacent and I thought, was without ambition. Negotiating with her was simple and agreeable and I felt very excited for her and the new road that lay in front of her. I could also reassure her over the next few weeks of how well prepared she was for this responsibility. The contracts were signed at the lawyer's office. I handed over my keys to her one day early. I would officially leave my business behind on April 30th- GOOD FRIDAY!

18 days later the baby was born. I was so busy for the first little while I didn't miss my clients. Some of them called to chat and I especially liked when the new owner called for advice. As well, a friend of mine, who had been suffering a post-partum depression, had asked me to visit with her every Wednesday to give her something to look forward to in the week. Summer rolled around and we visited many parks together with our children.

By September my friend was over her depression, and the kids went back to school. My days really began to feel monotonous. I only ever seemed to do little, unimportant jobs. Jobs that no one ever seemed to notice. Most of the time I was circling the house re-tidying, re-feeding, re-cooking, re-shopping and re-doing. I was a maid. But, the worst feeling was that of smothering. Everyone seemed to be living glued to me day and night. I was never alone. The baby didn't sleep much and she never wanted to go to anyone else. This was not what I had expected, and this was not the whole of it. My husband and I had our own adjusting to do. He now was solely responsible for us financially and we both felt concerned for the vulnerable state we would be in if anything ever happened to him.

I began to wonder if I had done the right thing. Where was my extra time for God? Just saying my prayers before bed seemed difficult. Going to church with a noisy crew wasn't much either. Before the baby, I had been able to attend missions and healing services and the odd workshop, but now, forget it! This didn't make sense to me. It was harder to be with Him! Why wasn't I getting any idea of what He wanted me to do?

In January 1999, a friend of my husband's asked him to go away for a few days skiing. I wanted my husband to go and have a break, but I couldn't stand the irony. I felt I was the one who needed the change. I tried to see it only from his perspective but this just seemed like a cruel joke of life. My husband had been dropping the kids off at school in the morning on his way to work and I wasn't looking forward to having to get so many of us bundled up, all for the same time. That's when it hit me!!! This was going to mean I would be ready for the 9:00 morning mass and I could just try it out for a short period of time. Now I couldn't wait for my husband to go!!! By the time February rolled around my goal was the 9 month 1st Friday novena!

A quick catch-up visit with our sponsor and a week later my husband was off for another few days - the men's Cursillo weekend with mine to follow. There were so many hurdles to get over but our sponsor told us not to worry about that. And the hindrances just melted away. The Cursillo weekend put puzzle pieces of my life together. It all made sense. Someone had been right there noticing all the little tasks I performed. Even better than that He knew the love that went into their performance. He had been my constant companion through every night I was awake, always coaching and reassuring. It was all different now... now that I knew for sure. God loved ME so much; I could be here for other people, not just to be here for other people.

I came home to find God alive everywhere. He was so visible in everyone I saw. I had spent over ten years in the beauty industry and had never seen people so beautiful as they were now. My thoughts to God were all thanksgivings. When I speak to friends and family, who call to relay the stress they are under at that particular time of the day, have I got something to say! Every morning mass is with someone's intention in mind, every Holy Communion, every visit to the Blessed Sacrament. The tasks I really don't like to do at home are now leavens for my environments. My domestic church is part of the plan for me.

God has a wonderful plan for each one of us. One of the priests reminded us on the last weekend that we do "little things" for one another, and God magnifies them so they can be "huge things" for someone else. Because I am part of a wonderful Group Reunion I have friends, three of the most beautiful women in the world, who help me discover more and more parts of God's plan. And our commitment to this group is evident even before we show up. I noticed in the Group Reunion handbook that it was described as "being conscious of those moments in which the presence of God and His grace are revealed in our life in a special manner".

On the second night of trying to write this witness I put down my pen and decided to continue the following evening. I had been reading the Catechism as part of my study. With no particular curiosity this evening to guide me, I just thought I'd open it and read bits and pieces until something kept my attention. This is what I opened it to. "God is sovereign master of His plan. But, to carry it out He also makes use of His creatures' cooperation. This is not a sign of weakness, but rather a token of almighty God's greatness and goodness. For God grants His creatures not only their existence, but also the dignity of acting on their own, of being causes and principles for each other, and thus of cooperating in the accomplishment of His plan.

To human beings God even gives the power of freely sharing in his providence by entrusting them with the responsibility of "subduing" the earth and having dominion over it. God thus enables men to be intelligent and free causes in order to complete the work of creation, to perfect its harmony for their own good and that of their neighbours. Though often-unconscious collaborators with God's will, they can also enter deliberately into the divine plan by their actions, their prayers, and their sufferings. They fully become "God's fellow workers" and co-workers for His kingdom. The truth that God is at work in all the actions of His creatures is inseparable from faith in God the Creator.

We firmly believe that God is master of the world and of its history. But the ways of His providence are often unknown to us. Only at the end, when our partial knowledge ceases, when we see God "face to face" (1 Cor 13:12) will we fully know the ways by which - even through the dramas of evil and sin- God has guided His creation to that definitive Sabbath rest (Gen 2:2) for which he created heaven and earth."

Let's Go Into The Millennium Knowing Jesus Will Be Victorious!